It’s Spring Break and today I had a playdate with my best friend and a couple other friends. It was at BFF’s house and the kids ran around like crazy and had fun while us adults chatted the day away. It’s a day like I had a hundreds of times over the 2 years I was off after I had my second child. Every week, my best friend and I would get together twice. Once at her house, once at mine, or we’d go out somewhere. But we’d hang out twice a week and our kids would play. It was wonderful.
Then I went back to work. After 2 years. It was so so unbelievably hard for lots and lots of reasons that I won’t get into right now. But today I spent a day in my old life. And it was nice. But just like the weekend is tainted with the coming of Monday, so was this day. It felt sort of like a day in my old life. It looked like it. All the same people were there. But the feeling was just a little off. And it made me sad that I don’t get to do this again next week. Or the week after that. My friend will go on and make plans for next week to go to the zoo or the museum, and I’ll be back at work. I’m just not part of that life anymore. I miss spending that kind of time with my kids. And I miss my best friend.