I also have this horrible habit of overthinking everything and irrationally worrying about things that don’t need to be worried about. The worry and overthinking are often accompanied by their evil second cousin, guilt.
Some days it’s about which curtains to buy for my living room. Some days it’s about what to order at a restaurant. Other days it’s about what size clothing to buy my children. Or what clothes to buy or keep for myself (I am a habitual returner. Half the time, I swear I know I’m going to return the stuff while I’m standing in line to buy it) Others, it’s about losing something that I’ve borrowed from a friend or just generally messing something up with a friend (something that my friends are not mad about! This describes this one perfectly, except add in about 10 more “I’m sorry/it’s okays” lol: .
Notice all these things are really NOT A BIG DEAL. But in my brain, it’s like this: What overthinking looks like. Drowning in 1 foot of water. I stand there in the store paralyzed. WTF do I do?? WTF is wrong with me??? I spend my life agonizing over the cheeseburger or the chicken sandwich. It’s absolutely ridiculous.
This also happens when trying to make plans. If I choose friends over family once in a while, then I get real guilt from some of them, which then adds to the irrational overthinking/worry/guilt that was already there. But if I choose my family every time, I miss seeing my best friends that are an important part of my life too. My family will say something about making time for plans with family, and I think, if they could only see what’s going on in my head and how much effort I put into making everyone happy! Something specific happened today and it was: what if I cancel on this person but then that person will think I don’t love them enough and then that person will think I don’t make the right priorities but then I won’t get to see those people but then this but then that but then AHHHHH! And my brain continues to spiral.out.of.control until it E.X.P.L.O.D.E.S.
So, you wanna go out to lunch with me? No? Maybe clothing shopping?? Anybody?