The mama gut.
The instincts that a mama knows and feels when no one does.
The instinct that something is wrong with your child.
The instinct that drives you to never give up.
The instinct to never stop trying to make your child well.
The instinct to never stop trying to find an answer.
The instinct that makes doctor’s appointment after doctor’s appointment with this specialist and that.
The instinct that is not satisfied with the pediatrician’s brush off that kids get sick a lot.
The instinct that sees that sick look in your child’s eyes and knows…this is not normal.
The mama gut.
Where it hurts deep inside when you see your child’s sad, tired eyes look back at you, again.
Where it hurts deep inside when you can’t help your child feel better.
Where it hurts deep inside when you know another fever is somewhere right around the corner.
Where it hurts deep inside when your child sees herself as sick all the time.
Where it hurts deep inside when you hear your child cry out in the night for what seems like the 1000th time because she’s hot or in pain.
Where it hurts deep inside to see her sick…again.
Being a mama is tough work.
My poor daughter has had countless fevers in her short life. 18 in 18 months from age 12 months to 2.5. And now at least 7 or 8 more from age 2.5 to 3.5. Not to mention other illness after illness after illness. We haven’t figured it out yet, but I’m going to keep trying. I worry so much about her. I just want her to be happy and healthy.