I think my leg fell off…well hop over and grab an ice pack.

It is often said that with your first kid you’re a little overprotective. You have a hospital grade sink installed at the front door so that guests can scrub, gown, mask, and glove before entering. Or you refuse to ever go out because a babysitter might tuck the swaddle in on the LEFT side instead of the RIGHT side. My God, what were they thinking? Don’t they know the baby might explode if you do that???!!! Or the baby could cry. And a babysitter certainly cannot do the upside down sway/rock/jiggle/hop on one foot maneuver that ONLY YOU can do. So there’s no way that baby will ever stop crying.

It is also said that with each subsequent child (or even just as the kid gets older and you know better), you get more and more relaxed until with your 5th child (no I don’t have 5 children 🙂 My 2 keep me busy enough) you’re letting them juggle chainsaws while lighting firecrackers on the kitchen stove at the age of 2…while staying home by themselves. Hey, he can reach the bag of lucky charms I left for him.

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But that super overprotective thing…it never really happened to me. Some real-life examples:

  • Bring the baby to a party when they are 3 weeks old and hand them off to the first kind looking stranger? Yes! I’m going to take a nap! Hmmm…that stranger just sneezed…but that couch over there looks SO comfy. Bah, the baby will be fine! It’s good for his immunity. Mama needs her rest.
  • Leave him with a babysitter at 2.5 months old so I can go to a wedding? No problem! I run out of my house, breast pump tubes dangling from my purse, faster than you can say Cha Cha Slide!
  • Sleep train with cry it out at exactly 4 months old because the book says that’s okay or I’m going to lose my ever-loving mind if I have one more sleepless night? YOU BETCHA! (and also NEVER let them sleep in MY bed!!) Let me grab that bottle of whatever and finish it off while you scream your head off upstairs…I CAN’T HEAR YOU above the sound of super explosive action movie!!
  • Lock the door to the bathroom and turn on the fan so you can’t hear them trying to get in? Absolutely! They already ask for privacy when they poop, I can certainly teach them that mama needs that too. Sure they scream and claw at the door the first few times, but eventually they give up and walk away. Defeat is a valuable lesson to learn.

So, obviously I’m a very laid back kind of parent, and I think it works pretty well for me, my husband and my kids. I’m sure other parents might think we’re horrible, and I’m sure I’m screwing my kids up in other ways…

But hey, at least I can pee in peace.

 

 

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4 thoughts on “I think my leg fell off…well hop over and grab an ice pack.

  1. LOL- I think that any parent with more than one child understands this post! Enjoy the new found freedom- they will survive!

    Like

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