Moments of doubt and sadness

For the most part, I love that I’m not working anymore. I get to spend more time with my kids. I can let my daughter participate in more extracurriculars during the day. I actually have time for all of my many many doctor appointments. I have less stress. A lot less. And probably the biggest benefit, and really why I resigned… I don’t have to work through unedurable pain every single day anymore. I can get rest when I need. I can rearrange plans if I’m having a high pain day. I can be flexible. I am not forced into job requirements that I know will hurt me.

But there’s a small part of me that still struggles with not being a music teacher anymore. Yes, yes, I know, I’ll always be a music teacher. But you know what I mean. I’m not teaching the kids anymore. I’ll hear music that reminds me of a cool lesson I used to teach. I’ll hear a song that I used to do with my chorus kids. Or like today, I’ll run into old students. And I miss it. I miss the fun and engaging lessons I used to create. I miss when we would practice a chorus part over and over and then it would finally click and… yes!! (cue jumping and woohooing!). I miss the kids getting excited about music. I miss knowing they learned about music because of me. And now there’s a boy in MY classroom, teaching MY kids! LOL. (Hope he enjoys all the super girly TPT decorations I just bought my last full year, lol!!)

I really am happy and relieved that I am free from the pain and stress of work. It’s just, sometimes, moments of doubt and sadness sneak up on me, like they did today.

What’s really ironic is that this slice is the opposite of the slice I wrote 3 years ago!

2 thoughts on “Moments of doubt and sadness

  1. I loved this post. I can’t relate but not being in the classroom now makes me miss certain things but at the same time grateful for my current position.

    Liked by 1 person

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