I Surrender, March

I surrender, March. In your 5 short days:

*Both of my kids have gotten and still have Influenza A. My daughter has been out of school all week. My son since Wednesday. Neither is going tomorrow either. We’re all bored and sick of washing our hands every 2 seconds. I still fear I will be taken down by my children and their germs being given away all day, every day.

*I agreed to an orthodontic implant that was placed with only topical numbing gel. Yep, something screwed through my gum and into the bone, with glorified orajel. It actually wasn’t quite as painful as you’re probably imagining, but it did hurt. More than he said it would. Then, said implant subsequently and almost immediately became infected and put me in terrible pain every day this week. Yep, while trying to take care of my sick kiddos, my mouth and face have been in trying to kill me. Today, I finally decided to call my orthodontist office, even though I knew he was out all week. Yeah, awesome. He puts this thing in and then goes out of town. They send me to an on call orthodontist. He says it all seems not too bad. But he needs to consult an oral surgeon. I get home and oral surgeon wants to see me. So I have to go back out. Oral surgeon is like, wtf, this thing is definitely bad news, as he’s rubbing his finger around my very swollen and painful gum and cheek, and I am ready to punch him, it hurts so badly. He says he thinks it’s best to take the implant out. I about hug him because I can’t take it anymore. He then says he’ll use novacaine, so then I really did hug him (okay, I didn’t). He asks if my orthodontist used novacaine to put it in. When I say no, he raises an eyebrow, and I grow less and less confident in my orthodontist’s judgment and skills. Surgeon numbs me up, I sing a silent hallelujah for the pain temporarily ceasing. He takes it out. I get in my car and cry. I wait in line to drop off prescription for antibiotics for the infection this stupid thing has caused. I cry some more. I get home, want nothing more than to curl up in my bed. But as stated previously, kids are sick. And then husband says his neck hurts too badly to get my prescription. So back out I go. I cry some more. I swear at my husband once I get in the car alone. The rest of the night, I spend nursing painful mouth and face. Oh after I make dinner. Even though, I can barely eat. I swear at husband under my breath for not cooking.

*The tailbone pain I’ve had for years has flared up terribly. It’s getting hard to sit. And then getting up is worse. So sitting in a dentist chair and car all day was super awesome today. Please sense incredible sarcasm. It’s so bad. Intolerably bad. I cry about tailbone pain in between crying about my mouth and swearing at my husband under my breath.

*I sprained my ankle a couple weeks ago. So that’s technically not March but in the last few days, it suddenly hurts a lot more. Just what I need!

Is it April yet?