Magicked out Mama

This magical mama is tired. Exhausted from the week’s enchanted activities.

Late at night, already tucked into bed, hurting, tired, and really not wanting to get back out of bed at 11pm, the Tooth Fairy glittered her way into the room of sleeping babes twice this week. Once, even visiting the bedroom of the child who did not lose a tooth because said child left cute signs all over the hallway to visit her and read the letter she wrote and try out the trampoline she built for fairies (she had made this trampoline before she even realized that a fairy was DEFINITELY coming that night).

The job of being the Tooth Fairy is one of the most anxiety inducing duties in the parenting job handbook. YOU HAVE TO GO IN THEIR ROOM WITHOUT WAKING THEM UP. You painstakingly slowly turn the doorknob, and it inevitably lets out a large click no matter how hard you try to keep it silent. As you tiptoe into the room, you hit the one spot in the floor that creaks like the rusty gate of a 100 year old haunted house. Your knee and hip pop with the sound of a golf ball striking against a putter. The child stirs, letting out adorable, tiny moaning sounds and turning their head or body in a new direction, which either stops your heart completely or makes it beat right out of your chest with panic. The excuses you rehearsed ahead of time as to why you might be in their room suddenly fall right out of your brain. You hide behind their bed like a monster ready to scare the ever living daylights out of the child, praying they lay still once again.

As they settle, you lean down, and slower than a sleepwalking sloth, you begin to slide the envelope holding the prized tooth out from under the pillow and your kid’s 75 pound head. Once released, you gingerly slip the quarters under the pillow, where they undoubtedly scrape together and let out a small “clink.” (every damn time.) You restart your heart, again, quickly shove the envelope inside your shirt, and start the slow creep back to the door. Repeat cautious turning of the knob, run to the other side of the door, quietly turn the knob AGAIN, and then run away!! You get back into your room, close the door, and collapse on the floor. You did it!!

After two teeth in one week, and a Leprechaun visit to boot, this magicked out mama is really hoping for a much needed reprieve from the sneaky charms needed to create these childhood memories. But the stories they tell and the looks on their faces make it all worth it.

22 thoughts on “Magicked out Mama

  1. Never having had children I never needed to take on any of the magical roles so many parents do. I can imagine seeing the smiling faces and joy radiating from them as the proudly display what the tooth fairy left them makes it all worth it.

    Like

  2. I relate from long ago! I swore my son’s teeth all fell out of his head at once. Naive, foolish me— I had bought him a bunk bed with a loft. There was NO getting in there to get a tooth from under a pillow when the child was halfway in a cave of a bunk bed.

    We were concerned for the fairy’s safety — wouldn’t want to hurt those wings! Teeth had to be left on the bunk bed ladder.

    The summer they ALL fell out– I know I forgot a night. It was happening so often, he didn’t even notice! It was a wonder he could even chew.

    Hopefully the magic gets to rest for a while! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This was so funny! I loved every minute of reading your detailed description of the not-so-magical journey to your child’s pillow. My favorite line was the 75 pound head 🙂 and I loved the image and alliteration of the sleep-walking sloth 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love extending the magic of childhood. Thankfully my kids didn’t like the idea of the fairy in their rooms so they put their teeth in the Tooth Fairy doll pockets outside of their doors. Soo much easier! But reading your Indiana Jones’ style adventure is great fun!

    Like

    1. Indiana Jones style adventure, lol!! Yeah I felt like trying to replace the idol with a sandbag!

      Having their teeth outside the door is a brilliant idea. Wish I would have thought of it!

      And I love extending the magic too. My son is 10.5 and in 5th grade and still believes in it all!

      Like

  5. Your description of this “magical process” was spot on and great. I pictured every move, felt every feel and heard every sound…
    Your mission was a success! Good job Mama! Hope you get the next few nights off.. or at least until maybe the bunny at least.. 🙂

    Like

  6. What a beautifully crafted piece! Your creative similes made me laugh and your whole piece brought back memories of those long ago magical days. I can’t tell you how many times we fell asleep and forgot, and had to avert morning tragedy –“She didn’t come!” –with quick a.m. sleight-of-hand –“Oh, I’m sure she remembered! Let me look!” clink… “See, she did come!”

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I wish I could use this as a mentor text for my students! The bit-by-bit action, and the precise, descriptive details do such a great job of bringing this to life, and I’d also love to show them how your exaggerated details conveyed how things felt, rather than how they literally were. Alas, probably better to keep this post to myself!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. THIS IS SO TRUE! I forgot so often (because I was exhausted and fell asleep as they did) that kids KNEW it could take days before the poor exhausted fairy showed up! THanks for the smiles today.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This slice made me laugh out loud!! “100 year old haunted house” creaks to moving like a “sleepwalking sloth” to maneuvering a “75 pound head”, you had me right there with you! Fortunately for me, my son recognized my handwriting in the tooth fairy note (saying sorry we ran out of 2 dollar bills), so the jig was up early. Thank goodness because he lost almost a dozen teeth this year. Rest up for your next magical stint.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. MY daughter’s tooth fairy was part-Santa Claus and part tooth fairy. She’d leave gifts in exchange for the teeth! Gifts that the little heart desired! So, one late night, I’d be out for a rainbow-colored remote controlled car, and another, I’d be looking for a singing unicorn!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. So I just love how you hide like the monster ready to share the living daylights out of them! And the intrepid little sibling leaving the notes lining the hall, encouraging the tooth fairy to visit them, too. That’s a resourceful one you’ve got there- watch out! Add me to the fans who love your piece.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. What I love most about this funny, tender, memorable slice is how you shared all the details and your inner thinking along with way. The reader was right there with you, each step of the way! We teach children to write about the watermelon “seeds” and your slice is such a great example of that.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Such a funny slice Natalie. We haven’t lost any teeth yet but I am prepping. I picture myself knocking into all of the magnatile towers they’ve built en route to the pillow. Your word choice was spot on and it made me laugh the whole way!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s