Imagine Pleasant Nonsense

It’s time again for another pain management procedure. It’s one I’ve been “looking forward to” for over a year because my insurance didn’t cover it last year. I don’t always have relief but I have from this same procedure in the past. So I’m hoping for good results. And results that will make walking for exercise less painful.

I got this shirt for Christmas a few years ago.

It’s a comic that I follow on Facebook called Strange Planet, by Nathan W. Pyle. If you haven’t seen it before, it’s definitely worth checking out. Very cute and funny. It’s all about the aliens using sort of thesaurus like ways of saying normal things. Here’s the website https://tinyurl.com/2aknu2su

Anyway, since I got it, I try to wear it to my procedures. They give me sedation. And I think the phrase is perfect, lol! Both for during and then several hours after while I’m sleeping it off.

So don’t mind me today. I’ll be imagining pleasant nonsense!

But some nights, I’m typing my slice at 3:36 a.m.

Sometimes it’s a list of tomorrow’s to-do’s.

Sometimes it’s an aching back.

Sometimes it’s a prayer that runs too long.

Sometimes it’s my heart beat thumping in my side (a weird present from my 2nd pregnancy)

Sometimes it’s my fan, meant to drown out other noises, making noises.

Sometimes it’s my hands burning up like fire. (awful side effect from meds)

Sometimes it’s my stomach churning.

Sometimes it’s my fibromyalgia itching flaring up.

Sometimes it’s nothing. But I stay lay awake.

But tonight, it’s the worst one of all.

It starts with a little twinge in my leg. Or in my arm.

And I know, sleep will not be found easily tonight.

As I lay there, hoping against hope, that it will go away, I feel it worsen instead.

The twinge becomes an unsettled ache.

A need to move for no need at all.

A feeling of wanting to stretch that will never be stretched enough.

Anxiety in physical form in my knees, calves, and elbows.

They want to be squeezed and tensed and extended. Spasmed.

Restless leg (and arm) syndrome. One of many reasons for my chronic insomnia.

Other nights I fall asleep before I can remember to remove my glasses.

But some nights, I’m typing my slice at 3:36 a.m.

Please send me a cook

As I ask my family what they want for lunch for the 1,379,462nd time in my lifetime as a wife and mom, I declare, “I am done being the person who makes meals for this family.”

I feel like I’ve done my due diligence. I’ve been making meals for my family, starting with just my husband, for 18 years. That’s a lot of chopping, mixing, stirring, sautéing, baking, roasting, and serving. And I just don’t wanna anymore.

I don’t like cooking. I do it because I have to. I would probably eat cereal every night if I lived alone. And honestly, we have it a lot even as a family. Except my husband who whines every time I suggest another gourmet meal of French Toast Crunch. The nerve. Thankfully, my kids love it. They would eat it most nights too. And hell, what’s so wrong with it? It’s got all kinds of vitamins and minerals. Fiber and protein. Sounds like a super food!

On cereal nights, my husband usually makes eggs. So we eat a lot of eggs. Eggs and cereal. Cereal and eggs. And spaghetti. Lots and lots of spaghetti.

I actually have lots of other recipes that I make. It felt like for a while that I didn’t have much, but when I listed it all out, I had over 30! Great! Awesome! Too bad my will to cook anything has been sucked from my soul.

I actually wrote a similar blog in my first year of slicing. But it had a much different tone and circumstance. I was working and couldn’t figure out how to make dinner because of being so tired and in pain and having no time after working and picking up the kids. Now I’m home and not working annnnnnnnd, I just don’t want to. Well, that’s not entirely true. The not wanting to cook isn’t just because I simply don’t want to. I mean, it’s a lot that. But I also still have the in pain and tired thing going on.

Apparently in that old slice, I worried about my kids having nice memories of home cooked meals from their mom. Well, I guess 7 years, fibromyalgia, chronic tail bone pain, chronic big toe pain, chronic thumb pain, worsening chronic mid and low back pain, and a billion migraines later, and I’m less concerned with stovetop memories. At least we still eat the cereal at the dinner table!

I desperately need a cook. Please send me a cook. Just tell them not to mind me if I answer the door with a bowl of Cheerios in my hands.

Foiled again ☘️

Well, here we are again. March 17th and we have a leprechaun trap in our house. I don’t even fight it anymore. My daughter climbs on my lap in front of my computer as we search for some ideas for the best trap yet.

Over the years, she has learned of the leprechaun’s ways and skills. She’s gotten inside the mind of the leprechaun. Because of this, every idea we looked at or thought of was quickly shot down because “he will just bring the ladder with him,” “he will see the hole and step around it,” or any number of other escapes she anticipated in her head. So this trap had to be GOOD.

We decided on an obstacle course design. The idea being that he will be having so much fun maneuvering through all of the equipment that he won’t even see the trap coming.

At this point, I turned the actual building over to my husband. I have made all of the past traps with my daughter, so I decided he needed to have a turn 😊 And as her imagination enfolded, the design for the trap definitely sounded like a daddy/daughter project! She wanted a box of some kind that would snap shut when he entered.

And that’s what she got. Because daddy is awesome. They built a box out of popsicle sticks, and then he installed a trip wire that moved a stick that was holding the box open. When the stick moves, the box snaps shut with a rubber band. GENUIS. She was over the moon. It was exactly what she had envisioned.

They continued to construct the rest of the mini obstacle course. Complete with army crawling under a pallet, climbing a cargo net and falling into a cushioned landing, monkey bars, jumping through tires, and then the last step, crawling through the box to get to the 3 gold coins at the end.

Just before bed time, she set out the trap. Ready to reel him in and then Snap! Trap him!

But in the morning, much to her chagrin, she found no leprechaun. The trap DID work though! It DID trap him! Can you believe it?? But that sneaky guy figured out how to push at some loose floorboards and escape out of the bottom. AND steal the gold coins! He also left a bit of a mess in our living room, as he usually does. And as my daughter knows, she has to clean up the mess because she invited him here 😊(What’s too funny, is that she cleaned up some messes that were HERS and she just didn’t remember. Like the knocked over garbage can by her craft table. “Oh, the leprechaun did this too!” Not so much messy kid 😜)

She’s already talking about next year. But she says she doesn’t really want to trap him. Just wants him to stay so she can see him and do some nice things for him. Then later, of course, she was talking about how to fortify her trap from this year, lol! The trap is just a STRONG invitation to stay until the morning, right??

You can find us outside today.

I’m calling it. A mental health, warm weather day. It’s supposed to be 68 today. Beautiful. Gorgeous.

But my daughter is supposed to have gymnastics at 5:30.

Which means we have to leave at 5:10.

Which means she has to get ready at 5:00.

Which means she has to come in at 4:55.

And she doesn’t get home until 4:05.

And wouldn’t get outside until 4:15.

Which means she would only get 40 minutes to play.

And on a day like today, that just won’t do.

After school activities are important.

Following commitments is important.

But on a day like today, in a year like this year, in a pandemic like this pandemic,

On a beautiful day otherwise surrounded by crummy days,

Running free with friends is more important than all the rest.

So, sorry, you can find us outside today.

Just the Boost I Needed

I’ve been struggling with energy lately. So as I was falling asleep on the couch, instead of giving into the soft comfort of the reclining couch, I pushed myself to get outside and move. Hoping some vitamin D and exercise would give me the boost I needed, I laced up my shoes and headed out the door.

A smile crossed my face as I looked down at my neighbor’s yard and saw the tufts of green sticking out of the earth that belong to her gorgeous irises. I cannot wait to see them bloom in the coming weeks!

As I neared the end of my street and stepped right onto the road, I realized, I didn’t have to make a detour around the big snow pile! A fellow slicer wrote about the pile of snow that builds up in front of her house and takes forever to melt, and I had commented on hers that I was awaiting this particular pile to recede. And today, it’s gone!

I continued my walk around the perimeter of our subdivision and headed to the “new road” (it’s now been open since Fall 2020, but it’s still the new road, and probably always will be). I love it back there because it opened up access to a manmade lake that you could never walk near before.

As my feet continue to hit the pavement, I realized that my shoes on the sidewalk are the only sound around. The air is still and quiet. I paused to soak it in, without the barrage of rubber on concrete interrupting my peaceful moment. A far off bird began singing a song to break the silence. But it’s tune is so sweet, it enhances the mood rather than detracting from it.

I proceed along the path, taking in the sparkling water, the clear blue sky, and the warmth on my face. Suddenly, a table saw cuts into my paradise and the shrill sound of petal on metal sends shivers down my spine. Thankfully, it doesn’t last long the quiet is restored.

My journey ends where it began, on the front steps of my house. I spy a new leaf popping up from my mulch and recognize it’s red lining to be a tulip joining the line of daffodil leaves all reaching out of the ground towards the sun. I smile with anticipation.

I enter my house again, renewed with newfound energy.

Daylight Saving Time

My rise and shine girl.

My pops out of bed girl.

My up before everyone else girl.

My doesn’t need an alarm girl.

My up early enough to say goodbye to her brother girl.

My has time to play before she has to leave girl.

My little girl…today, the day after daylight saving was…

My made mommy happy by actually snuggling in bed girl.

My mommy had to literally drag her out of bed by her feet (twice) girl.

My tried to curl up on the floor and go back to sleep girl.

My huge whiner of “I’M TIIIIIIIIRRRRRRED!!” girl.

My barely made it through breakfast without falling asleep in her cereal girl.

My can’t muster up the energy to put on her shoes girl.

My writhing around on the floor complaining girl.

My I have to be carried to the door by mommy girl.

My why even is there Daylight Saving?????!! girl.

Buy some cookies, nice and sweet!

Momming today meant helping my little Brownie run her Girl Scout cookie booth for 2.5 hours. I’m exhausted, but it’s worth it.

Before her first one (last time) she was always very shy when trying to sell cookies. But apparently, put her behind a booth and in front of a steady stream of potential customers, and she comes alive! I was so proud of her. And it was so fun watching her work!

Here are some of the cheers she came up with!

“Buy some cookies, nice and sweet. Buy yourself a yummy treat!”

See video here: https://youtube.com/shorts/jlD1zMmoYMc?feature=share

To the tune of Jingle Bells. “Buy cookies, buy cookies. Buy a box today. They’re only, here once a year, and then they go away! Hey!”

See video here: https://youtube.com/shorts/Ifr7bHiINjY?feature=share

“Cookie cookie cookie, buy your cookies there. They’re yummy in your tummy (rub you tummy!), from a girl scout with green hair!” (they used green pom poms in their pony tail)

See video here: https://youtube.com/shorts/AW-_eh7CMCE?feature=share

Crocheting

Single, half double, double. Single, half double, double.

I started this pattern for my new blanket in October 2019.

It started as a little snake. It had a long way to go.

I continued working on this, hoping it wouldn’t take me 26 years like the last blanket I crocheted (that’s an old slice).

At about the year mark, I started trying to read more and longer books, so I got distracted from the blanket for a while. So as blankets in my house do, it sat, sad and lonely under the end table, collecting dust for a while.

But I recently pulled it back out and I’ve made lots of progress on it! Made it through a whole skein in just a couple of weeks. That’s super quick for me! And now it’s at this point!

I can actually snuggle under it some! And it keeps me warm while I’m working on it!

I hope that it doesn’t take me another 2.5 or 3 years to finish this one. But even if does, it should still be less than the last one! And while working on it, I am loving my new personalized very PURPLE crochet needles zipper bag!! And while I’m working on it, I sometimes get kitty snuggles so that’s a big plus to working on it!

My lap doesn’t get much better than this!

Who knows, maybe by next March, I’ll be able to make a slice about the finished product!