Totality Found

Part 2 of a 2 part series about my Total Solar Eclipse-Path of Totality experience

After a quick trip to the Walmart, we headed back to the edge of town, to the church we planned to camp out at the rest of the eclipse.

As we arrived, it was still pretty much empty, save for one other car on the front side, but we headed to the back side where there was more room and a grassy area to spread out, and no one there. We had left Walmart when the eclipse had technically started, but we couldn’t see anything yet. So when we got to the church, we hopped out of the car, slapped our eclipse glasses on our faces and took another peek. And it’s there! The moon is there, covering just the tiniest corner of the sun! It’s starting!! What we’ve been waiting for all these years and drove all of these hours for is starting!!

But with an eclipse, there’s a lot of hurry up and wait. So we make and eat some turkey sandwiches. And we check the sun again. It’s about the same. We throw around a baseball. We check the sun again. It’s a little bit more covered. We play some more catch. We check the sun again. And now things are getting real! The sun is about half way covered! I check the NASA website I’ve been following that has a timer for the exact location we’re at. 25 minutes left until the big show!!

We play some more. My little one finds a swing set to play on for a bit. The big one and Dad play some more catch. We turn up some music and dance around for a while. It’s a great summery feeling day.

We start to notice the lighting shifting from normal mid day sun to a kind of dusky look. Not really dark, but definitely not the brightness of just a few moments ago. We check the sun again, and there isn’t much left of it shining behind the dark disc of the moon. We look around again and the light of the day grows ever so slightly darker by the minute. I check the timer again…5 minutes! So close!

I’m starting to get jittery. What’s it really going to be like? Will it live up to what’s in my mind? To what I’ve been expecting?? Will it be better? I’ve seen so may pictures and videos of totality, but what will it be like in person?? With my own eyes??

Timer says 2 minutes!! We throw on our glasses one more time to watch the very last tip of the sun disappear and then…TOTALITY. We pull off our glasses and what is in the sky is just…awe inspiring. Both my daughter and I let out sounds of amazement and excitement and shock! We cannot believe what we are seeing. The brilliance and beauty of the white light around the dark circle is just…incredible. Absolutely incredible. And how it went from still relatively light outside to almost dark was other worldly. We could see stars! The frogs were confused and started croaking. Street lights came on. The horizon looked like sunset. The temperature dropped. And it was just eerily quiet, other than our shouting, haha.

We continued to watch and experience the magic of this event throughout the 4 minutes and 9 seconds of totality that we got from our travels to the very center of the path. I couldn’t take my eyes off of this extraordinary sight. It was overwhelming. Thrilling. Breathtaking. Spectacular. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Like nothing I had ever seen or experienced before and probably ever will again in my life. I feel like it affected me in ways I can’t even describe. Like, on some deeper level. And to know that I made it so my kids could experience this possibly once in a lifetime event for them, made it even more special. Watching them watch it was almost as amazing as the eclipse itself.

I didn’t want it to end. The beauty of it was hypnotizing. The scene it created, so alien but alluring. But it did have to end. And just as quickly as the tip of the sun disappeared to create this mesmerizing natural wonder, the sun popped back out on the other side and totality was over. Time to look away and be filled with a little sadness that this beautiful experience that the four of us shared together is over. But a shared experience it was. We will have this one enchanting event that connected us then and connects us forever.

Totality Bound

Part 1 of a 2 part series about my Total Solar Eclipse-Path of Totality experience

It’s been seven years in the making. From the moment I stepped outside with my students and spied the 88% coverage of the solar eclipse we got in Chicago in 2017, I said it. I want to see totality. I want my kids to see totality. We can’t miss this again. It seems so far off. Seven years. The little one was 4 and the big one was 7. It will be crazy that they will be 10.5 and 13.5 when the next one happens. It seems so far away.

Then, blink, it’s 2024. The kids are that old. The Total Solar Eclipse is coming! For years, I had been thinking about what we would do. How we would experience it? Should we stay in a hotel? Make a whole weekend out of it? Should we just drive down there for the day? Then years went by with no real plans and now it’s a year away. It’s time to book things if we plan to. It’s on my todo list. It gets moved. And moved again. And again. And finally after being super anxious about it for months, we decide, we’re just going to make a day trip out of it. It’s only 4-5 hours away. We can do that. Then it’s time to pick a location. Carbondale had been my original destination, but after realizing there are closer places within the path of totality, now I have way more options and so many more opportunities for anxiety! What if I pick this place and then the viewing is better in that place? What if I go with that place and the traffic is so much better in this place? UUUUUUUUUGH.

The days leading up to April 8th, I keep checking cloud forecasts. One day it looks like it will be cloudy everywhere. The next, parts of Illinois are starting to clear up. Then the clouds are back. Then Indiana looks less cloudy. Then more cloudy. What do we do????

I also keep checking my daughter’s temperature. She’s sick again. Will she be able to be in the car that long? Should we take her out of school when she just missed all last week? My son has a quiz he’s missing (why did she put the quiz on the day that so many would be out??). Should he miss that? Should we be taking them out of school at all. What if the traffic is really as bad as everyone says it will be? Will my back and tailbone and every other pain be able to stand it??

Suddenly, it’s Eclipse Day eve, and we’ve decided. We’re going for it! We may never get another chance to see this again. The cloud forecast looks favorable. My daughter is better. And I can rest the next day (and boy did I rest today!!). Let’s do this!

After a rocky sleep the night before, kind of like the night before Christmas, it’s Eclipse Day!! We wake up early, get the car packed up with eclipse glasses (number one priority!), lots of car snacks (one favorite for each person), things to entertain us in the car, things to entertain us if we get there early, and a colander to make eclipse shadow crescents on the ground. We have plans for stopping before we get all the way there to refill gas and go to the bathroom. We’re set! Let’s go!

We take off at 7:56am. We drive for 2 hours and no traffic so far. We get our gas and find the bathrooms as planned. It’s going great! We drive for 2ish more hours. As I look out the window, I can see the temperature change happening before my eyes. Redbuds (my favorite) that are still weeks away from showing their colors in the Chicago Suburbs are in full bloom here, there, and everywhere along the highway. It’s so pretty.

We continue to drive and hit a little construction traffic, but that’s it! No eclipse traffic the whole way down there! I’m shocked. We enter the little town of Fairfield, IL where we plan to view the eclipse. It’s pretty well empty. We drive by the church parking lot we plan to camp out in and since it’s empty, we decide to drive a little farther into town to the Walmart to use the bathroom again (any chance we can get is a good thing when you don’t know when you’ll be able to again!!) and also fill up gas again, since it’s there. The Walmart isn’t that busy either. There are a few dozen people set up for viewing in the parking lot, but not as much as I would expect. We finish up there and head back to the church.

Stay tuned til next week to read about my amazing experience with totality.

Not quite done with that fever.

Poor sickie is apparently still sick. Finally got her back to school today, after missing Monday. She hadn’t had a fever since Sunday morning, and she was feeling better, so off she went. She felt fine all morning, and then halfway through the school day, she suddenly felt horrible and her temp shot up to 101. I get the heart stopping phone call from the school nurse. “She has a fever and needs to be picked up.” How wonderful that I get this call while my son is in the middle of Orthodontic treatment (just after my own orthodontist appointment). So I finally geg him back to school and pick her up. The poor thing looked terrible. Red cheeks. Sick eyes. Barely enough energy to walk to the car.

Once back home, she wriggled her fevered body back in her purple jammies and spent the rest of the day laying lethargically on the couch, feeling yucky. Later in the evening, we ordered pizza and watched a movie. Mommy snuggling with her baby.

And she has to stay home tomorrow too. Sigh.

My poor little one is sick so often.

Lazy Easter Sunday

It’s been one of the laziest Sundays in a long time. We have a sicky over here, so we had to cancel Easter plans. So, we made it out of bed, managed to get through the egg hunt, and now we’ve all been napping or laying around, stuffing ourselves with sugar all.day.long.

And now we’re going to move from laying around separately to laying around together as a family and watch a movie. It really can’t get much lazier than this.

Happy Easter and happy last day of of the spice of life challenge! Thank you to everyone who has read my blog even just once, but especially to those who have read many times and commented. It kept me going. See you next year!

Tomorrow

I am all done todaying today.

Going to try to hide until I can tomorrow.

Chronic pain is a thief.

Chronic pain is a thief.

It steals everything from you.

Leaving you only, with…grief.

Immense, overpowering, paralyzing,

Grief.

For all that I have lost and still have to lose.

Hobbies. Simple pleasures. MY JOB-what I worked and studied years and years for. My Energy. My passion. Self care joys. My self worth. My sense of self. Time and play with my children and husband.

Everything.

Chronic pain is a thief.

And there’s no way to get back what it has taken.

And all you’re left with is grief. Utter grief.

And of course…pain. Always pain.

These memes seem to say it even better than I can, especially the first one:

A box followed me home…and got a new life

A couple weeks ago, a box followed me home from my walk. When I arrived home, I almost threw it in the recycling bin, but decided it deserved a better fate than being crushed, torn, soiled, or whatever other horrible tortures awaited it. It worked so hard to get here. It seemed so happy to be accompanying me on my stroll around the neighborhood. It felt so at ease once it got to a warm place out of the blustery winds.

So I solicited the help from my extremely artistic, creative, and crafty daughter to give the box new life. To transform it from the simple dental treats box existence it was currently serving, into something new. Something more special. Something to move it into a new era where it has purpose, acquires a new look, and is part of a family. She was very excited and up to the task! “That’s a great idea!” And she set to work.

She digs through craft supplies, box cutters, tape, glue, stickers, cards, envelopes, and after making a sufficient mess, presents her masterpiece….the reshaped, reformed, and renovated…Box. But now, not just a box. It’s the holder of happy thoughts, for she has decided that any “Happy mail” (what we call the cards we send out) we receive shall go in the box. A sanctuary for all postal prosperity. Mailed merriment. Delivered delight.

The way in which she decorated it causes joy and contentment itself. So whether just viewing the outside, or its contents, you are sure to have a smile on your face.

And if you listen closely, you can hear the box speaking again, as it did out on that fateful walk. It’s saying, “Thank you for noticing me. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for bringing me in out of the cold. You saved me from a boring at best and grim at worst fate. You gave me a second chance. New life. A family. I won’t let you down.”

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This is one time, Mom RULES

The big one and I are on our own tonight. We just got back from an appointment, as the little one and dad head off to her activity. I briefly hear them mention that they played some Mario Kart while we were gone. So I thought, it’s spring break, and they did it, so let’s play some ourselves.

I suggest Tetris. It’s a newerish version for the Wii, but it’s basically the same as old school Nintendo. Only exception is that you play head to head (could you play head to head in the original?? I can’t remember) and when you clear lines, you send junk over to the other player. Otherwise, the game play is the same.

The big one, never having played Tetris before, suggests Tricky Towers instead. It’s a game with similar game play, but things can tip over if they don’t fit together perfectly or if you don’t give it a good enough base. I HATE it. There’s nothing better than thinking you’re about to win and then the whole damn thing crashes into the sea below and you have to start over. Fun stuff. But I want to play with him. This doesn’t happen often. So I go with it. With the stipulation that we will play Tetris later.

We play Tricky Towers. And my tower falls. I build it back up. And my tower falls. I get almost to the top, finish line to win. And my tower falls. Over and over again again, my tower falls, until I give up that round. He wins and wants to play another round. I reluctantly agree. I do enjoy playing with him JUST NOT THIS GAME, and my brain is revolting into an anxious blob after so much frustration from this infuriating game! Thankfully, after a few more rounds, he finally asks, “Do you want to play Tetris now?” I scream inside my head YEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!! But only out loud, say, “Sure.”

And now it’s on. Everyone in the house is better than me at pretty much every video game there is (save a few minigames in Wii Party and Mario Party). But Tetris is MY GAME. I am the QUEEN. And I’m not just a little better. I CRUSH them. Even my husband who is always better at me than everything This game is mine. I have been known to beat my husband 20 games to zero in a night. He doesn’t stand a chance against me. It’s so nice to have at least one game like this!

So the big one and I start. And I see that this will end quickly. He doesn’t have a great starting strategy. He doesn’t know when to save sticks and when to use them. He hasn’t mastered flipping the shapes at warp speed to get them the right shape in the right place JUST at the right time. He doesn’t see the whole board in ‘t’s’ and 3 flat spots, and 2 flat spots, and ‘L’s’ and squares. It’s like another language, and he hasn’t learned it yet. But I am fluent.

After his swift defeat, I worried that he would get mad and no want to play anymore, but he only utters, “Again.” And so we go again. And again. And again. And I keep crushing him and just keeps coming back for more. And it’s so fun for so many reasons. I’m getting quality, fun time with my big one who doesn’t often want to play with us much these days. He’s laughing and smiling, which has been very lacking these days. It also brings back nostalgia and memories  of my brother, dad, and I playing the original tetris with each other for hours and hours until our eyes cross, dry out, and fall out and roll across the carpet (this happens now too but not quite as bad, as the graphics dint lend themselves quite as badly to this dreadful side)

And the last reason it’s so fun is that I’M WINNING!!! I’m beating my son who thinks he’s the best at everything. There’s a huge amount of power in this, lol.

We play and play and play and play. Laughing. Talking. Smiling. Talking a little trash. I help him out here and there, but mostly I just pulverize him. But all in good fun 🙂

I will always cherish this first time of playing Tetris with my son. I look forward to many more games to come. (Since this first game, we’ve played several more times already, also adding in my daughter).

Wind chimes

I start out for my walk outside. It feels good to move. To feel the sun and the breeze. To breathe in the fresh air. I love the sounds of the birds chirping high up in the trees. Distant road noise traveling along the wind. And often I love how utterly quiet it gets every once in a while. Just peace. Until….

BONG! Clang, clangity clang. Bling, Bling, BLONG. I walk past a damn wind chime. Whyyyyyyyy??? Why do people put these wretched, evil menaces to society out in their yards??

Who wants to hear that? They are so loud and horrendously obnoxious.  I’m not really talking about the little sprinkly sounding ones, although I don’t like those either. I’m talking about big, giant fog horn type ones. And the worst offender, ones with just ONE FREAKING NOTE. So it’s just bong…bong…bongBONG all day and night long. Because of course the wind is more of a jazz improv player than a classical musician. So there’s no rhyme or reason to when you might hear the nextBLONG. BOOOONG.

I am thankful we don’t actually have any neighbors who have any right near us, or we’d probably have to move. But they still litter my ears and my senses as I try enjoy my alone time, interrupting my peace as I walk.

They should be outlawed. Disassembled. Burned. Run over by a truck. Erased from existence. Whatever it takes so that my hearing never has to be barraged by such dissonant tones, all clamoring together by the wind’s fickle blowing or the one tone just bashing into my brain until it explodes.

I’m so sorry for any wind chime lovers out there. But maybe keep all this in mind the next time you put yours out. Most people hate them. And probably, in turn, hate you for torturing us all with this incessant discord that interrupting their thoughts, their feelings, and their sanity!

No matter how I feel, there will likely always be malicious people who continue to riddle our tranquil neighborhoods with this random cacophony of jangled unmelodiousness. BONG.

Egg dying

It’s that time again. There’s 37 dozen eggs in the fridge. The mugs have been brought up from the basement. The water is boiling. The bag containing the 1,613 metal egg dippers from past egg dye sets has been found.

That’s right, it’s time to dye Easter Eggs! Possibly my favorite holiday activity of the year! I love every part of it. The feel of a cool egg in my hand. The cups of pretty dyes covering the table. The colors of the eggs. All the different colors. The look of them all lined up in the container when we are finished. The way that every egg seems to have a personality so no matter what you plan for it, its shell seems to have something else in mind and SURPRISE! You have some incredible swirl or polka dots that you could have never come up with on your own.

And best of all, is the whole family around the table, doing something together. As the kids get older, I always wonder how many more years of family activities like these we have left. But my love for dying Easter eggs never ended, and I hope theirs doesn’t either. Even the big one, who doesn’t venture from his room too much these days, came down when he heard the hard boil eggs calling.

We sat in our regular places. Each excited for what we would do for our first egg. My usual first is a VERY PURPLE EGG, which of course, basically means, get it in the purple dye first and leave it there for 6 days. I also like a green one like that. Inevitably, one gets found at the end when all of the dyes are getting dumped out, although this year, it was a pink egg found wrapped in a paper towel that was the surprise. After I get my green and purple eggs going, I set off to do some half and halves. I choose pink on the bottom and yellow on the top, with a little white strip separating them. Then a red and pink end to end split. Then I got for a purple one (shocking) where I dip it a little and hold it. Then a little further and hold it. Then a little more and then a quick splash over the top. So a gradient of purple. Looks great!

The big one sets off to make rainbow colors. I love it. So pretty and I love that that’s what he wanted to do. Then he taps me and says, “Hey mom, look what I made.” I turn to see this, “I ❤ family.” My heart melts. He’s such a sweetie. He also makes a beautiful purple and blue mixed one for me. My favorite color combination. “I made it for you.”

The little one has plans for a minion, a sunset, and wants to try out the heat shrinks that always come with the sets that we’ve never done before. We set them in the boiling water, and instantly, it wraps itself tightly around the egg! “Woah!” we both exclaim. “That was so cool!” She wants to try again, this time by herself. They turn out really pretty! She ends with making a purple one for me, and my heart melts once again. It’s my favorite color, and it says “I ❤ Mom.”

The number of white eggs is dwindling and our cartons are quickly becoming colorful works of art. I choose a few more, unsure of what to do with them. It seems every color has been done several times. I decide I like the big one’s purple and blue one so much, I want to try it out too. It turns out to be the best one I made. I absolutely love it.

And just like that, another year of dying eggs is over. We all had fun. Everyone was happy. And now we start into the arduous task of eating ALL OF THE EGGS.