The idea of this entire post will probably seem very odd to most of you. But there’s always been something about sitting inside a closet. Something about it that makes me happy. safe. calm. secluded. comforted.
I’ve been like this since I can remember. As a kid, I used to hang out among the shirts and pants and read a book, play with toys, act out some make believe story, or just sit. I loved it. Something about the vantage point of the floor. The oddness of the location. The chance to be alone. You can be alone in a big room, but being alone in a small space brings it closer to you. Let’s you get comfortable with it.
I don’t do it much anymore, as I don’t get to spend a whole lot of time in my room alone anymore. But after the terrible day I had yesterday, and some more stress added on today, with the kids downstairs playing, I went upstairs to change after work. I walk into the closet to hang up my clothes. My brain finally quiets enough that I can register how much my back aches. So I sit down on the closet floor. I look around at the walls, the clothes, frozen in place above me, the small patch of open floor space (thanks to finally cleaning it out a few weeks ago!), the necklaces hanging still on their hooks, and decide to close the door. I close my eyes, breathe in slowly, and I’m…at peace. For that one moment, my anxiety from the day sloughs off my shoulders. My worries over the car and everything else are put on hold. It’s just me and the red suitcases resting haphazardly on the floor next to me (I feel the same way, carry on bag).
I take a few more deep breaths and think back to all the times my closet gave me solace. Then and now, this tiny room surrounds me and wraps its small space around me like a warm blanket.
It’s not long before I must open the door and exit my happy place. But it’s always there if I need it.
(FYI, this is also how I feel about rooms with curtains. Love to be closed up behind them! Funny thing is that I’m actually a little claustrophobic…it’s small spaces that I CHOOSE that make me happy 🙂 )