Death of household appliance

It’s happened to all of you. Your beloved blender. Your cherished toaster oven. Your prized toaster oven. Breaks beyond repair and there simply is no replacing it. You are lost without, and the world is never the same.

It happened today. My Shark floor sweeper. We’ve had it for 8 years. I loved this thing. It’s light. It’s easy to pull out and use quickly. It picks up everything. It can get into areas that my vacuum cannot. I don’t have to bend over to use it. And it didn’t cost too much. It’s just plain awesome. And today, the unthinkable happened to it. D.E.A.D.

It actually started a few days ago. It wouldn’t turn on, but I thought it was the plug. I switched it to a different plug and the charge light came on. HOORAY! But today, my husband went to use it again. Once again, it wouldn’t turn on. He tried plugging it into another plug again….and horror of all horrors…no charge light this time. 😦 He called time of death today at 4:32 p.m.

After a short mourning period, I pulled myself together, wiped the tears away, wrote this slice, and then wrote the eulogy:

“My beloved Shark Sweeper. You were the best sweeper anyone could have hoped to own. You were there for me when I needed you most. Through Cheerios and dried up peas. Through old pieces of ground beef and spaghetti. Through crap my daughter cut into a million pieces and whatever the hell that greenish brown stuff was that was in the corner near the stove. I don’t think I’ll ever find another like you. You’ll be in my heart forever.”

8 thoughts on “Death of household appliance

  1. This post had me giggling. I loved the line “he called the time of death.” When we have something we love, like a beloved appliance, the loss is real! The eulogy was absolutely amazing. Thank you so much for writing this!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your eulogy made me laugh out loud! I live with my grandmother-in-law and she has a Dyson handheld vacuum that goes everywhere with her. This thing is a life-saver. It goes into the smallest spaces. Without it, we would be lost! I can’t imagine your pain!!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. First of all, RIP to your Shark sweeper. I am a huge fan of Shark products, and it is never easy to lose one. My dish washer may be joining your shark in appliance heaven soon. The nice thing is that the new replacements are usually pretty fancy. I hope you get over your loss! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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