I knew it was coming. The countdown to the end started months ago. I didn’t want to face the truth…My beloved Original Cheddar Cheez it Grooves were being discontinued…being replaced by what they claim is a similar flavor. BUT IT’S NOT EVEN CLOSE.
It was a day like no other. After getting a Walmart pickup, which should have included said grooves, and unloading the car, something is different. From afar, my red boxes of cheesy goodness appeared to be what they should be. But when pulling one out of the bag, the truth was revealed. These were not my Original Cheddar Cheese Cheez It Grooves! “Bold Cheddar?!” What is this?? Walmart must have made a mistake. I look up the item on their website and horror washes over my face. Where my cherished Original Cheddar should be stands a picture of the Bold Cheddar flavor. And the nail in the coffin…Bold Cheddar on the Kellogg’s website. The Bold Cheddar flavor has officially usurped Original Cheddars’ role.
I race to my pantry to count how many boxes I have left of my hallowed grooves. 1…2…3…wait…no…there has to be more!! Three. That’s all that remains. These three boxes are all that’s left of this light and crispy crackery wafer covered in a powder of the most delectable salty cheddar seasoning I’ve ever tasted.
I formulate a plan and visit Walmart’s shipping website (instead of the pickup website). And there! After typing “original cheddar,” the picture of the old box appears!! Hope surges through my body! I order 10 boxes (like the crazy person I am). The order is confirmed and relief sweeps over me. I will have more original cheddar! Then I get another email saying that the order will be delivered from a local store earlier than expected. Awesome. I’ll get them sooner! I go to the porch to bring in the obscene amount of boxes that would have all been packed in one large shipping box, disguising my OCD purchase, but were instead in bags. Lots and lots of bags.
I open the first bag and my face drops. Bold Cheddar. I move to the next. Bold Cheddar. I erratically tear into all of the bags: Bold Cheddar Bold Cheddar Bold Cheddar Bold Cheddar Bold Cheddar Bold Cheddar. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I should have known since they came from the same store that these would be the same imposters.
New plan. Perhaps other stores still have some of the old flavor left on their shelves. I must buy them all! I scour the aisle in Mejier. Bold Cheddar. I comb the shelves at Target. Bold Cheddar. I check another Walmart. Bold Cheddar. I think I’m going to have to start accepting this new reality. A reality without Original Cheddar! A reality I’m not quite ready to accept.
So I mourn for only a few moments because I’ve got work to do. I must preserve the 3 boxes I have left for as long as possible. I set off to separate them into individual snack sized bags. The final number is in….sad drum roll….30 bags. 30 bags, EVER. I must make them last. I try to eat a bag only every few days. It works. The pile of bags stored inside the box dwindles, but slowly enough that I don’t panic right away.
But last night was THE NIGHT. I reluctantly plucked the final bag from beautiful original cheddar box. I brought it upstairs, got in my cozy bed, and settled in for a snack and some tv. I ate the grooves one exquisite crunch at a time, savoring each and every spec of cheesy salt from every cracker. As the bag grew emptier, my mood turned glum. I was trying to enjoy them, but the sadness of the coming inevitability hindered my indulgence. And finally, there was only 1. One lone cracker left. I popped it in my mouth, sucked the cheddar salt clean off it (the only proper way to them), and then they were all just…gone.
Life will have to move on. I will attempt to move on to Bold Cheddar but it will never be the same.
What favorite food or drink of yours went to the chopping block? I have had so many others too. This is just the latest.
(as I was writing this, I was thinking, I don’t think I looked at Jewel!! They have been my go to for all things discontuned at other stores. Maybe they still have some there??? Maybe this isn’t the end??? I really shouldn’t get my hopes up. But I may stop there today and report back here!)
Pretending to be a functioning adult is exhausting 
Panic, joy, sorrow, grief … all packed into a red box and a few paragraphs. Well done!
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That box holds all sort of emotions. 🙂
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Why is it that when a company comes out with a new and improved version of something you have liked for it may be new but it is rarely improved. I feel your pain. For me it was Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal. New and improved not the same.
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It’s never the same! My very first loss was Wheatables. I just loved them. They changed them and made them more like wheat thins and I never went back.
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Oh, that’s a crisis.
For me, it’s not usually snacks. It’s hair products. I have horrible allergies and Hermione hair. Almost as soon as I find something I like– BOOM. Death to that product line.
I hate it when that happens! They really ought to warn people.
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I get that! If they ever get rid of my hair products I’ll die! My husband is the same way so had bought it in bulk whenever he can find it!
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“I will have more bold cheddar.” my favorite line! I clicked on this post with Cheez Its on my mind. They are incredibly expensive in Chile. 10 boxes would easily send your weekly grocery budget crashing down. But they are SO good, and the crisis is real. Don’t let any Cheez It haters tell you otherwise.
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As a long time Cheez It aficcionada, I would agree but am now on very strict low salt diet and had to forgo such pleasures. I do treat myself to the rare illicit snack and will miss them for that. The rest of the time, if I don’t see them, then I won’t miss them so much. Thank you for the “Bold Cheddar” warning — wouldn’t want waste rare salt treat on a dud.
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Well…they aren’t TERRIBLE. More ranchy than just plan cheddar like before. My husband and kids actually kind of prefer them.
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This is hilarious! We did the same thing when our favorite beer (Celis) was being discontinued. We were aghast with sorrow and ordered as many cases as our budget would allow (with our upstairs neighbors who shared both the duplex and the fixation with us). We coveted every sip, but alas! By the end of that summer, our well had run dry and we were forced – in our grief – to switch brands to a similar – but lesser brew. I still think about that loss, but life has moved on. Give it time, eventually you’ll find meaning in your life once again 🙂
Superb!
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Lol, I really hope I do find meaning in my life once again, lol! 🙂
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That is so frustrating. I feel your pain. Our veggie meat company used to make this Sandwich Spread in a can. It sounds gross, but it was so awesome. My mom was like, oh that is being discontinued so we raced to all the local stores that carried it to buy the remaining 10 cans we could find. Each of us got 2 cans. I ate one right away and then kept the other for about 6 months until I had to have it. I went to visit my sister Becca when I was about 6-7 months pregnant with my second child and told her I was craving it and was so sad that they didn’t make it anymore. My beautiful sister pulled out her remaining can and shared it with me. That was 12+ years ago and I still remember how grateful I was in the moment. I’ve tried some copycat recipes online, but they are nothing like the original. Once in a while there is a rumor that the new company that bought them will revive some of the old recipes and my hope flares briefly.
And now I want Cheez Its. You are very good at making me want food. You should work for the advertising companies.
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Hahaha! Maybe that should be my second career!
That is so sweet of your sister.
And there are so many foods this has happened with. Wheatables. Watermelon smirnoff ice. Oreo madness at tgifridays. Oreo cheesecake at cheesecake factory. The list goes on. I have grieved so many foods!
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