A hard decision

So it turns out it doesn’t matter that my favorite zumba instructor left my gym. Because of my chronic pain, I’ve made the really hard decision to quit zumba 😦

As much as I love it. As much as I love dancing. As much as I love doing something I’m really good at. As much as I need something to look forward to. As much as I enjoy having a hobby (which I consider zumba to be). As much as I like having something fun to do out of the house that’s just for me. As much as I like that I can get exercise while dancing and not even really notice. I just can’t put myself through that anymore. I just can’t keep pounding my body into the ground week after week.

For so long, I kept having the attitude of “I’m not going to let this pain get the best of me! I’m going to do what I want anyway!” But now, that’s just irresponsible. For so long, I kept saying “Zumba makes me happy, and I need some happy things in my life.” But now, if zumba makes my already terrible, painfully awful back even worse for days after the class, which then in turn makes me feel all sad and mad inside…then it’s not really making me happy now, is it?

So I’m done. I may do a class here or there if my instructor is subbing, but otherwise I’m done. It was a good run, but I’m done putting myself in more pain than I’m already in. I’m so angry that my pain has made this decision for me. Angry that it has taken something else from me. Sad that I’ve lost something that I loved doing.

 

 

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6 thoughts on “A hard decision

  1. Hi. I think listening to your body is a great idea! Nothing worse than back and knee pain, even though it was something you loved while doing it. I am a fan of your repetitive middle paragraph. It really is fun to read. I kept wondering what the next reason was going to be. Thanks and good luck.

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    1. Unfortunately, even yoga can be tough on my back because of the hardware I have an the immobility it has caused. So for me, it’s not so easy to find something that will work. People (and I’m not saying you because I know you’re not really doing this) like to say “oh you have back pain so you should just do these very back pain specific exercises and they will work like a charm!” And unfortunately, that’s not how it works for me 😦 So it’s really hard to find anything at all that doesn’t hurt it.

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